Lily decides to spend her last days as a free woman focusing on the important things, like a Royal Fever-inspired Taschen coffee table book highlighting American royalty like the Rhodes Women. CeCe's already in town, along with Dr. William "Fake Cancer" van der Woodsen -- either of which would explain the high-pitched barking of lapdog Rufus -- but then we're joined by a couple surprise Rhodes Women: Aunt Carol and her daughter Charlie. Turns out Carol's life on the West Coast went downhill and, as judgmental poor people on this show always are, she's become quite the hypocrite: All this time she's been Dan Humphreying her shallow rich sister, she's been taking money from old CeCe in exchange for the odd family obligation like supporting Lily during this very legal time.

Charlie's another thing altogether, Jennying out on Serena's rich-girl lifestyle and -- like all Rhodes Women eventually do -- getting a scary obsessive crush on a Humphrey. In the end, despite Carol's wishes, Charlie stays in town the better to baby-talk her way into the van der Woodsen circle and then become some kind of Dan- (possibly Serena-) stalker.

But of course what's important is the blowback from the Blair/Dan kiss frame on which we froze. While there are no real reactions to it, besides some nefarious plan by Chuck that I'm not sure I fully understood, there are reactions from the players: Dan has devoted himself to Blair utterly for the last five minutes, but in a cruel twist of fate it's made Blair suddenly decide it's time to be with Chuck again. After Vanessa involves her shit in our business, and Chuck finds out about the kissing, some complicated stuff goes down with the photo shoot that results in Blair deciding she's still too good for Chuck after all. Dair shippers, I wouldn't worry about it: She's clearly just afraid of her Dan Feelings and running to the nearest manwhore port to weather the storm.

Meanwhile, Raina gets a strange call from her dad about how her mom is still alive or something, I wasn't paying attention during that part, but I think maybe a Ouija board is going to make an appearance. Lily takes a bunch of family photos with her two husbands, who have reconciled, but nobody seems to notice that the majority of their family's children (Chuck, Inspektor Pilot, Jenny) aren't involved. Chuck's too busy brooding at photos of himself brooding, and Jenny is never to be mentioned again, I guess. In the end, we're treated to foreboding about Charlie, a possible search for dead Mama Raina, Vanessa informing Serena about the kiss, and the reappearance of Blair's third suitor: Old Prince Louis is back from wherever, toting a shoe and a smile. Now that's a worthy Dan rival.

Great opening and closing sequences, a fair amount of new mysteries and a cliffhanger about Lily's jailtime: Perfect setup for the last episodes of the season, but not a whole lot else to hang your hat on. The scenes of Lily and Carol discovering their mutual dependence on outside money, as well as about a hundred well-timed punches to the jaw for perennial victims Rufus, Dan and Vanessa, make for a fun ride. Here's hoping Charlie doesn't turn out to be some rehash of the worst parts of Georgina and Jenny's storylines, and that Dan finds something to mope about besides Blair and Serena, before next week, when the big kiss fallout actually descends on everybody's heads.

Источник: http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show....ure.php

Источник: http://blog.zap2it.com/fromins....ss.html

«Gossip Girl's» "The Kids Stay in the Picture" последствия поцелуя Дена и Блэр.

О, как это приятно, вернуться на Верхний Ист-Сайд, фанаты «Gossip Girl's»!
После жестокого и долгого шести недельного перерыва, наши любимые виновные вернулись и, наконец, закончились массовые спекуляции о результатах первого поцелуя Дена и Блэр, в понедельник, 18 апреля с 'The Kids Stay in the Picture'
Прежде чем мы перейдем к Поцелую (или его отсутствию учитывая, что мы на самом деле не увидели его, обманщики!), давайте просто признаем, что писать о фото сессии "Современные королевские семьи" мы не будем. Нам это не очень интересно, и нам не хочется писать об этом. Договорились....

"TKSITP" был наполнен действием: возвращение матери Спайка-вампира Анны Сиси, матери Лили и мужа № 1 Уильяма ван дер Вудсена, представление Кэрол и Чарли, Лили имеющая дело с последствиями своего признания, Нейт, который выглядит довольным. Ну и да, последствия Поцелуя.
Так что давайте начнем. Вот наши 10 лучших комментариев и цитат из 'The Kids Stay in the Picture', вафли включены. BYOS (Принесите свой сироп, такой, какой нравится!):

10. Подсчет слов в Gossip Girl
Мы в шоке и расстроены. Нэйт Арчибальд одержал победу над Ванессой Абрамс за звание чемпиона GGWC. Сколько всего слов у него? 60. Кроме того, он, кажется, взял на себя обязанности Руфуса - носить подносы.
Нейт, Нейт, Нейт. Ты знаешь, мы любим тебя, как Хамфри любит вафли и плед. Вы знаете, что мы имеем ввиду? Но серьезно, это причиняет нам боль. Когда мы видим тебя на экране, то в буквальном смысле думаем: "Подождите, что он здесь делает?". Практически, он там ни для чего, кроме как послушать что говорит Рэйна о своей давно-потеряной-но мертвой-по-словам-Рассела матери, попивая апельсиновый сок. Кто-то еще заметил, как мало Нейта было в этом эпизоде? Хорошо хоть мы знаем, что он не будет болен в ближайшее время.
Эй, по крайней мере, его волосы выглядят отлично. Кому нужен сюжет, когда у вас лучшие волосы на шоу?
Ванесса ... Взгляни на свою жизнь, взгляни на свой выбор и взгляни в зеркало, прежде чем покинуть этот дом. Вот и все.

9. Эрик теперь Хамфри
Он только носит плед. Он только взаимодействует с Деном и Руфусом. Его язык стал немного острее. Но да, мы должны признать это: Эрик теперь Хамфри ... и мы любим его. Наши любимые моменты с Эриком на шоу:
"Ты запал, черт, на Блэр Уолдорф", говорит Эрик Дену, после того, как второй сказал, что Блэр приятно пахнет.
"О, да. Это звучит как буд-то это подстроенно," опять Эрик говорит Дену, когда тот заявил, что ему было предложено позировать для раздела up-and-comers. Мы сказали то же самое, в то же самое время.

8. Добро пожаловать, новичок UES
В эпизоде, который вышел сегодня вечером, мы, наконец, познакомились со взрослой версией Кристен Риттер, или хм...Кэрол Родос, и должны сказать, что она раздражает. (Последней каплей было, "Что вы сделали с моей дочерью?!", это заставило нас свалиться с дивана в бурном приступе смеха.) Неудивительно, что ее 18-летняя дочь Чарли решила переехать к ван дер Хамфри к концу эпизода, узнав, что дорогая мама принимала чеки каждый месяц от Cиси.
Мы узнаем, что Кэрол натаскивает Чарли в искусстве выпадок в адрес ван дер Вудсен, называя их "токсичными" и не разрешает Чарли видеть их. Чарли говорит Серене (достаточно сурово) все, что случилось с ее семьей (и резюмирует все шоу для нас!), что заставляет Серену, пригласить ее пройтись по магазинам. Эй, мы всегда суровы с Сереной. Где наши магазины? Так. Не. Честно.

7. От сердца к сердцу
Лили: Спасибо, за то, что ты здесь. Мы через столько прошли вместе, и я подводила тебя так чсто. А ты здесь...
Серена: Не начинай плакать прямо сейчас. Ты испортишь свой макияж. Нет.

Ничего себе, эта сцена была очень очаровательна и напомнила нам о первом сезоне. Мы любим моменты, когда мы видим истинную связь между Лили и Сереной, особенно после того, через что все они прошли в этом сезоне. Мы действительно гордимся Лили, которая призналась в преступлении и готова встретиться с последствиями своих поступков. Продолжай в том же духе, Лили. Когда-нибудь, ты станешь настоящим родителем! Кроме того, ты, вероятно, не будешь выглядеть совершенно отвратительно в оранжевом, это как со стаканом, наполовину полным. Помни об этом, хорошо?!

6. Что случилось с Чарли?
Там явно что-то с Чарли, мы просто не уверены, что. Когда Чарли говорит своей матери, что она переезжает к Лили & Co, Кэрол выглядит беспокойно и говорит: "Это произошло не так давно. Ты к этому не готова". Хм ... Что же произошло?
Когда Чарли и Серена отходят, Кэрол говорит Лили, "Вы не понимаете. Несколько месяцев назад она покинула колледж, потому что ... только обещай мне, что вы убедитесь, что кто-то будет присматривать за ней внимательно, ОК?"
Вместо того, чтобы сделать то, что любой здравомыслящий человек сделал бы, вы знаете, спросить что случилось, Лили согласна, не задавая вопросов. Таким образом, мы думаем, что это психическое заболевание. Или, может быть, она стала немного слишком привязана к бывшиму парню. Мы это понимаем, когда Кэрол внимательно следила за Чарли, в то время как та разговаривала с Деном.
Постскриптум Ден, есть девушки в городе, с которыми ты еще не связан. Серьезно, чувак.

5. Самый главный диалог этой серии
Чак: "Кого бы оне не поцеловала, кажется, это возымело эффект. Меняющий жизнь, слова, которые она использовала."
Ден: "Ну, если это был меняющий жизнь поцелуй, может ты не должен быть тем, кто все испортит "
Чак: "Что ты хочешь сказать, Хэмфри?
Ден: "С тобой, она всегда учавствовала в махинациях, в подставах, но это не настоящая она. Она интеллектуальна, она обладает интуицией, ты знаешь, она плачет, когда смотрит "Ночи Кабирии".
Чак: "Как ты узнал все это?"
Дэн: "Серена сказала мне, но послушай, дело в том, что если Блэр счастлива, может быть, ты должен позволить ей это."
Чак: "Ты больше заботишся о счастье Блэр, чем я думал, спасибо за твое время."

Ничего себе, аргументы Дена похоже, были буквально взяты с Tumblr фанатов Dair, Twittera или с "Oh No They Didn't" - иначе, штаб-квартиры Dair. Это, как говорится, все верно. Блєр это больше, чем схемы, ложь и предательство, эта та сторона, которую увидел Ден, и, которая ему понравилась в течение последних нескольких недель.

4. Возвращение Уильяма ван дер Вудсена
Мы точно не знаем, почему это было необходимо для Уильяма (Что случилось, Билли Болдуин?!), вернуться на UES, но взамен он кое-что сделал. Естественно, он и Руфус боднулись и, шаг назад бывший папа, победитель: Руфус. Мы просто не могли пропустить того, как Уильям смог вернуться в UES, когда в последний раз, когда он появлялся там, полиция разыскивала его. Поэтому, если мы не смогли понять прошлое, почему мы так заботимся о настоящем на "Gossip Girl"?
Во всяком случае, к концу эпизода, каждый пообщался с Уильямом ... в том числе и Руфус, который позволил Уильяму восспользоваться его вафельницей. Вещи принимают очень серьезный оборот между мужем № 1 и № 5! Хотя, в следующий раз, когда Уильям приедет в город, мы хотели бы увидеть немного больше драмы.
Заметка на полях: Мы обожаем видеть, как взаимодействуют Cиси и Уильям. (Да, мы точно заметили, этот поцелуй в лоб.) Мы просто предполагаем, что за ним.

3. Цитаты сегодняшней серии
Cиси: "Ах, дорогая, ты выглядишь прекрасно на этой фотографии "Их разыскивает милиция"". Это было очень правильно с твоей стороны перед тем, как сдаться полиции, убедиться, что волосы хорошо уложены."

Блэр: "Я думаю, у меня чахотка".

Кэрол: "Муж Лили №1 и....№5?"
Руфус: "5".

Лилия: "Руфус, мы купили гетры!...Нет, я не пьяна!"

2. Чак прочакался ... снова
"Кое-кто сказал мне кое-что, так, что мне захотелось моего собственного наследия, а не моего отца. Я не могу убедить Блэр в ее месте в нем, пока она снова не почувствует себя влиятельной." Рассказывает Чак Эпперли, когда она спрашивает, почему он захотел, чтобы та предложила Блэр работу.
Тьфу. Серьезно, Чак, ну что это? Вырасти. Это так покровительственно и снисходительно со стороны Чака использовать кого-то, чтобы предложить Блэр работу, чтобы таким образом она смогла "почувствовать" себя влиятельной. Блэр хочет быть влиятельной и да, есть разница.
После того, как он узнал, что у Блэр и Дена был поцелуй, меняющий жизнь, что делает Чак? Он решает попробовать унизить Дена перед Блэр. Великий план, Басс. Хоть он знает, что поцелуй был меняющим жизнь для Блэр, но не догадывается, что девушка поняла, что хочет быть с ним. К сожалению, разведовательный промах, Чак. Она говорит Дороте, что готова быть с ним, потому что он "повзрослел" и бросил "игры и заклятия". Ясно, что она не понимает, что сезон "Gossip Girl" еще не закончился.
Когда она узнает, что он обманул Дена и заманил его на фото сессию, только для того, чтобы унизить, происходит следущий великолепный диалог. Мы записали диалог персонажей и то, что мы считаем думали поклонники:

Чак: "Я просто хотел, чтобы ты увидела, что он не часть этого мира, я знаю, ты поцеловала его." (Фанаты Chair: "О, не напоминай нам, что они целовались.")

Блэр: "И что? Мы с тобой не встречаемся, и ты целовал многих." (поклонники Блэр: "Наконец, героиня признает, как быстро Чак стал встречаться с другими девушками ... дважды!)

Чак: "Ты не должна была целовать его, он Hum-Drum-Хамфри. Эпперли сказала мне, что это был поцелуй, меняющий всю жизнь." (Поклонники Chair: "...... Пожалуйста. Перестань. Закапывать. Себя. Еще.Глубже. Басс")

Блэр: "Потому что это заставило меня понять, что я хочу быть с тобой! (Поклонники Chair: "Ура! Съешьте это фанаты Dair. Мы любим тебя, @ joshschwartz76 ") Ден и я знаем, что это ничего не значило, даже меньше, чем ничего. Правильно? " (Dair поклонники: "... Мы еще дождемся своего шоу")

Ден: Да, это правильно. (Dair: " Нет! Скажи ей, что ты думаешь, что она хорошо пахнет и борись за нее. Мы знали, что мы не должны были лелеять наши надежды. Дурацкое, вводящие в заблуждение промо!)

Блэр: "Я собиралась рассказать тебе все об этом сегодня вечером, но это было бы огромной ошибкой. Ден Хамфри может быть не особа королевской крови, но он, по крайней мере, не ребенок." (Поклонники Chair: "Мы ненавидим вас снова, @ joshschwartz76 Мы отказываемся от своего графика # savechuckandblair, навсегда!")

Позже, когда Чак и Блэр говорят о своих отношениях перед одним из платьев принцессы Дианы (нет, мы не шутим), Чак говорит ей: "Ты не должна сначала становиться влиятельной женщиной. Мы можем построить наше будущее вместе." Блэр грустно отвечает, что она полагал, что все дело в ней, а теперь понимает, что в Чаке, что это он не готов. "Кого я обманывала? Тебе потребуются годы, прежде чем ты будешь способен на реальные отношения ... если ты когда-либо будешь на них способен." Упс.

Мы не можем сказать, что мы удивлены тем, что Чак испортил все снова. Это только лишний раз доказывает, что Чаку необходимо пройти через серьезные изменения, прежде чем Блэр когда-нибудь рассмотрит возможность возвращения к нему.

1. Черт! Ден Хамфри запал на Блэр Уолдорф
Проводя время расставляя его книги (много) в алфавитнном порядке. Проверяя телефон на наличие новых сообщений. Упуская шанс спасти Серену.

Это может означать только одно, поклонники "GG": Дэн Хамфри не заботит Блэр Уолдорф. Во время своего сердечного разговора с Эриком теперь-А-Хамфри, Ден дает нам возможность узнать, что произошло после поцелуя, который мы видели (повторяем: обман!): Блэр не сказала ничего, оставила его стоять в ее фойе и не перезвонила. Ден говорит, поцелуй был хороший, странный.

Когда Эрик спрашивает, нравится ли ему Блэр, он отвечает: "Что? Нет, нет, нет. Я не люблю ее. Нет, конечно, нет. Вовсе нет. Мне просто любопытно. И ты знаешь, она хорошо пахнет ". Можем ли мы пока просто по обсуждать каким очаровательным и харизматичным был Пенн Бэджли в последних эпизодах? (А как он произнес свою фразу "Я здесь, чтобы сфотографироваться!" это был высший пилотаж).

"Я просто хотел убедиться, что ты понимаешь, что этот поцелуй ничего не значит для меня, также как и для тебя", говорит Ден Блэр, а не признает, что он думает, что она приятно пахнет. Мы считаем, что заметили некий намек на разочарование, когда Блэр ответила: "Ах, да,". А может мы просто хотели, чтобы она была немного разочарована. Выстраивание связи между Деном и Блэр в течение последних шести эпизодов было слишком основательным, для того, чтобы просто исчезнуть. Этот сорт-любовного-но-не-очень треугольника, который Ден, Блэр и Чак создали на шоу, мы бы очень хотели видеть и дальше.

Мы можем сказать вам, что есть кое-какое, о боже мой, для Дена и Блэр в эпизоде на следующей неделе, и то, что Ден увлечен Блэр, кажется, никуда не денется. Что после этого? Мы не уверены, но думаем, Ден может уступить место в борьбе за сердце Блэр. Но на этот раз, он против настоящего принца. О, привет принц Луи выходящий из лимузина с туфелькой Блэр на высоком каблуке в конце эпизода!

Так что вы думаете о "The Kids Stay in the Picture", посетители? Вы были удовлетворены результатом поцелуя Дена и Блер? Вы нашли Чака неприятным, так же как и мы, со всей этой ситуацией с Эпперли? Можете ли Вы рассказать нам, почему Уильям ван дер Вудсен смог вернуться в UES без ареста? Мозговой штурм.

Источник : http://www.tvfanatic.com/2011....LugXgGE

Welcome back to the weekly TVF Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our review from earlier this morning).

Below, TV Fanatic Managing Editor Mister Meester is joined by our esteemed President Gossip Guy for an in-depth discussion of "The Kids Stay in the Picture."

Our colleague DANdy is off partying with Jack Bass on a multi-nation tour of Southeast Asia and currently unavailable, so it's a two-man show this week ...

1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: Absolutely goes to Dorota for correcting Blair and identifying Dan as more of a Labrador than a toad.

Mister Meester: Blair defending Dan and putting Chuck in his place. She may have been too quick to dismiss what she has with Dan, but at least she recognizes him for the standup guy he is, and tore Chuck a new one for involving Dan in his "plot."

2. Focus on Lily's relatives and husbands: Fun change of pace or boring filler?

Gossip Guy: Oh those were here relatives? Seriously, I was wondering who that old lady was. What happened to the fun sister we met in the flashback!? B O R I N G. Hopefully, Charlie will prove to be fun and not just a weird incestual love interest of Dan. Wasn't her cousin / your step-sister enough for you? I saw that look you were giving her...

Mister Meester: I'm not writing this off yet because there are still four episodes left, and there MUST be more to Carol and Charlie than meets the eye, but this was not an exciting episode largely for this reason. The writers have been obsessed with Lily's back story ever since the spinoff that wasn't. I just hope they came up with something good this time and that it ties in with the larger narrative. Also, Dan had better not hit that.

3. More random, out of place confidant: Eric (for Dan) or Epperley (for Chuck)?

Gossip Guy: Please, Eric is so awesome I'd buy him as anyone's confidant. Plus, he's at least been paired up with Dan in previous episodes. Bringing back Epperley, and just explaining her complete change of character in one line? Pff.

Mister Meester: Epperley. Eric felt a tad forced but he's family, which is never too big a stretch. Besides, it's Eric. That kid rocks. Chuck and Epperley plotting - unnecessarily, no less - and sending clandestine texts just felt silly to me.

4. Do you like Nate and Raina as a couple?

Gossip Guy: Yes, the scenes between them in Nate's bed were absolutely riveting. Much like my sarcasm.

Mister Meester: Hey, the guy needs someone something to do. No, really, I like seeing him as the supportive boyfriend and hope the producers give this relationship a chance to really work (even though I have a hunch it won't happen).

5: Rate last night's episode on the Vanessa Uselessness Scale (1-10).

Gossip Guy: This is why I logged in to my inbox to answer this round table. Holy crap. We've always joked about Vanessa being useless before. And unfortunately, I feel like the boy who cried "Vanessa is Useless" because I wasted all my ridiculous numbers. No number can really express just how useless she's become. She literally hides in shadows and comes in too late with advice via voicemails... MULTIPLE TIMES THIS SEASON. Just kill off her character already. Fine, you forced me to give a number: 7,248.

Mister Meester: 9.9 / LMAO at Gossip Guy.

6: Team Dair, Team Chair or Team Prince Louis?

Gossip Guy: Team Dair. They were too nice to each other this week with all that prince/princess crap. Bring back that witty Dair banter from the real Queen and her toad Labrador that I crave. Leave Chair for end game.

Mister Meester: Dan and Chuck sure left the door open for a third suitor, didn't they? Neither stepped up and Louis is going to make them pay the price. The question is whether either Chuck or Dan will fight to win her back - next week's promos sure look like the donut is back in the picture, but things aren't always what they seem. In fact, they usually aren't in Gossip Girl promos. To actually answer the question, I really miss Dair - at least the chemistry and the wit, the connection and them spending so much time together - but ultimately, romantically, I'm hoping for a Chair engagement at season's end.

Источник: http://blogs.wsj.com/speakea....ws_blog

The kiss! The kiss! I’ve had a month to try and eliminate the supposed to be fabulous Dan and Blair kiss from tonight’s episode of “Gossip Girl.” But like a bad matzoh kugel, it stays with you.

Nate and Reina and schmooching. Blair cut Chuck off. Chuck is being given the hand from all sides. Lily is headed to jail. But Lily is wearing some spectacularly ugly glasses to head there.

Eric wants to stay with Dan because he just can’t deal with Lily. Dan tells Eric that he kissed Blair but makes him super double dare promise not to tell. Eric wants to know if he likes her likes her.

Blair can’t eat, and we agree. It’s the nausea from the idea of the kiss. Instead, she says it was a truly life-changing experience.

She’s a changed woman. But she says it made her realize she wishes she were with Chuck. We just want them all to move on.

Lily’s sister Carol is coming to visit and the Lils is not happy.

Then they dance and shop for leg warmers and all is perfect. The non-Alec Baldwin is also around. And surprise, there’s a new cousin, Charlotte, who is Carol’s daughter. Carol is not happy about her daughter shopping with Serena, because she’ll catch the richie cooties.

But Serena’s got the inside dip on her auntie! She takes money from grandma, and grandma paid Carol to come be with Lily. Charlotte runs away. Ooooh, we’re sure Charlotte will be sleeping with Nate in no time.

And Vanessa is back, despite being uber banished. She is always in the strangest places! She overhears Blair and Dan discussing the kiss, and immediately calls Serena and squeals on her voice mail. And then Chuck finds out that it was Dan who gave Blair the schmoochy, and he puts the double dog dare whammy out with Epperly, who was Blair’s boss for about two seconds.

There’s a big photo shoot! It’s not a party! OK, it’s a party about a photo shoot. Chuck confronts Blair. Blair says it meant nothing. Dan’s feelings are crushed, like they were with Serena. He is such a delicate tender flower, that Dan. Blair decides she doesn’t want Chuck either because he’s still a spoiled brat. While she’s a mature goddess.

She leaves Chuck standing alone. Maybe he and Dan can bond over their broken Blair hearts. Maybe with a nice malted.

Charlotte/Charlie decides to stay in New York and apparently she must be watched continuously.

Next week: It’s all about fairytales and Blair still feels about kissing Dan. Because it was so wrong.

Источник http://www.tvfanatic.com/2011....picture

Gossip Girl returned from hiatus tonight with an episode that set the stage for the next four. While "The Kids Stay in the Picture" was necessary, it wasn't an exciting installment.

It was fine, just not edge-of-your-seat material. New characters were introduced and story lines we left in February were fleshed out a bit. But the big drama is still to come.

Those hoping for some romantic fireworks or major developments in the three-way battle for Blair Waldorf's love were probably disappointed. Unless you're on Team Louis.

In typical Gossip Girl fashion, B's royal suitor appeared in New York as the credits rolled. After an episode that saw Dair and Chair futures plummet, his arrival was intriguing.

The way the plot unfolded between Blair, Dan and Chuck disappointed me a bit. Both guys' actions disappointed me. They left the door open for Prince Louis, that's for sure.

When Blair said kissing Dan changed her, that doesn't mean it meant nothing. She may have (or have had) legitimate feelings for Dan, but sees Chuck as her soulmate.

This I get. What I didn't get was Chuck resorting to an old scheme to try to prove a point instead of just laying it all on the line, and Dan not stepping up to fight for her.

Blair defended Dan, saying that he's more mature than Chuck will ever be. This seemed like Dan's opening to confess to her what he made obvious to Eric: He loves her!

So does Chuck, of course, and had he expressed this in a way that didn't involve humiliating Dan and making him look inferior, maybe I'd feel bad for him. But not here.

Perhaps they don't mesh together like Chair, but there's genuine emotion with Dair as well. And while he doesn't make hearts race like Chuck, Dan really is a standup guy.

It's hard to put my finger on it, but as a fan of both Dair AND Chair, I just felt a little let down. Maybe that epic trailer overhyped it. Maybe things will pick up next week.

One thing is for sure - Blair is done being pushed around. Whether she ends up with a Prince, a Bass or a Labrador Retriever, the downtrodden Queen B will rise again.

Chuck could sense that she's off her game, but perhaps this is just what she needs to find herself again and truly go after what she wants. I can't wait to watch, either.

Meanwhile, the rest of "The Kids Stay in the Picture" centered around an awkward Rhodes / van der Woodsen family reunion and photo shoot (see clever episode title).

Long Live the Queen of the UES

In typical Gossip Girl fashion, B's royal suitor appeared in New York as the credits rolled. After an episode that saw Dair and Chair futures plummet, his arrival was intriguing.

The way the plot unfolded between Blair, Dan and Chuck disappointed me a bit. Both guys' actions disappointed me. They left the door open for Prince Louis, that's for sure.

When Blair said kissing Dan changed her, that doesn't mean it meant nothing. She may have (or have had) legitimate feelings for Dan, but sees Chuck as her soulmate.

This I get. What I didn't get was Chuck resorting to an old scheme to try to prove a point instead of just laying it all on the line, and Dan not stepping up to fight for her.

Blair defended Dan, saying that he's more mature than Chuck will ever be. This seemed like Dan's opening to confess to her what he made obvious to Eric: He loves her!

So does Chuck, of course, and had he expressed this in a way that didn't involve humiliating Dan and making him look inferior, maybe I'd feel bad for him. But not here.

Perhaps they don't mesh together like Chair, but there's genuine emotion with Dair as well. And while he doesn't make hearts race like Chuck, Dan really is a standup guy.

It's hard to put my finger on it, but as a fan of both Dair AND Chair, I just felt a little let down. Maybe that epic trailer overhyped it. Maybe things will pick up next week.

One thing is for sure - Blair is done being pushed around. Whether she ends up with a Prince, a Bass or a Labrador Retriever, the downtrodden Queen B will rise again.

Chuck could sense that she's off her game, but perhaps this is just what she needs to find herself again and truly go after what she wants. I can't wait to watch, either.

Meanwhile, the rest of "The Kids Stay in the Picture" centered around an awkward Rhodes / van der Woodsen family reunion and photo shoot (see clever episode title).

Serena and Charlie

There were a few subplots unraveling simultaneously, from Rufus' distrust of William, Charlie's conflict with Carol, to Carol being just as big a liar as Lily, apparently.

All in all, not that interesting. At least not yet. Its not that the new characters were lame or that it wasn't fun to watch, it's just that nothing felt all that important.

In fact, the biggest moment involving Lily's family left us hanging. A phone call likely offering insight into her legal fate went to voicemail during the family photo.

It was tough to get invested in a character we barely know, although I did like Charlie okay (her facial resemblance to Leighton Meester throws me off, however).

As for Carol, she and Lily definitely have a believable sibling rapport. Lots of deeper issues, but even more unconditional love. Watching them had its moments.

The Rufus-William relationship picked up where it left off last season, but they came to an understanding. It looks like the family is circling the wagons after all.

What do you think? Too much Lily drama or just right? Where do you think this is headed? Will Lily really go to jail, and what can we expect next from Charlie?

Bottom line, this episode probably didn't knock any socks off. But that's typical following a long break. Stories take time to develop, and that's fine. Until next week ...

Other occurrences and observations worth mentioning:

* Nate and Raina are still an item, and he's encouraging her to find the truth about her mother. Hopefully this gives Nate something interesting to do.
* Vanessa is back, creepin' hard core and acting shady, spying on Dan and Blair and telling someone on the phone about their SHOCKING kiss. Sigh.
* Interesting mention of Jack Bass by Blair, given that he's rumored to be coming back. Yet Chuck was all alone in the photo. Very symbolic and sad.
* This episode was a fashion lover's dream.
* Dorota quotes were epic as always.
* Great Lily mug shot on TMZ.

'Gossip Girl' recap: When Charlie met Serena

With Lily facing jail time, the Van Der Woodsens get a surprise visit from her sister Carol and her niece Charlie.
By Tim Stack | Published Apr 19, 2011

It’s been so long since Gossip Girl was last on I have completely forgotten what’s happened this season. For a hot second I thought it was still the year that Hilary Duff showed up and showed new levels of lameness. That was a loooong, tough season for GG fans. Now, I remember—Blair and Dan were about to get it on! Yay. Oh and Chuck and Nate were fighting over snoozypants Raina! Boo. But let’s get back to THE couple with actual heat: Dan and Blair a.k.a. "Dair."
Sooooo….um….not a helluva lot has changed sadly. Last time we saw them, Dair had exchanged a pretty hot kiss. It’s now a week later in GG time and Dan has yet to hear back from Blair despite calling her the next day. Meanwhile, Ms. Waldorf has been in bed all week, in her mind suffering from “consumption” or “malaise.” I love that Blair basically exists in Jane Austen novels. I’m surprised she hasn’t rediscovered petticoats yet. Depressed/confused Blair is brought out of her funk by a call from Epperly—remember the bitchy assistant from W?—who is now working for book publisher Taschen on a photo collection of “modern royalty.” For those of you that haven’t watched this episode yet, a perfect drinking game would be to take a sip every time the word “Taschen” is mentioned; I think it almost approaches double digits so be cautious with your imbibing. But seriously the episode should have been co-sponsored by Taschen…and Intermix.
Coincidentally, Lily and her brood were also picked to be part of the “modern royalty” pictorial although old Lil’s is now facing up to 10 years in prison due that whole faked affidavit fandango. But the book (and maybe the legal snafu) has brought back William Van Der Woodsen (William Baldwin) as well as mama Rhodes, CeCe! Love that old broad. Also love that her first appearance was like a Chanel dream (at least it looked like the classic label). I feel like CeCe would even have a Chanel nightgown with matching slippers. Let’s work on that, Eric Damen. Complicating matters (and royally pissing off Lily), CeCe invited her other daughter, Carol (Sheila Kelley), to participate in the shoot. Carol’s been off living a “bohemian” lifestyle in Florida, which I’m assuming means she’s never been to Sephora and has hairy pits. But frankly she looked pretty well scrubbed on her first entrance. Some of you may remember Aunt Carol from the GG flashback episode starring Brittany Snow as Lily and Krysten Ritter as Carol. Sadly, Carol’s body odor was not the major issue: Taschen cancelled the shoot due to Lily’s potential jail time.
But Carol wasn’t the only Floridian traveling up North: her daughter Charlie, played by newbie Kaylee DeFer, also snuck up to Manhattan. She wanted to check out these relatives that her mother has always told her were soooo awful. I mean naturally. Wouldn’t it have been funnier if she showed up and they were actually horrendous people and not the number one customers at Bergdorf’s? So Charlie bonded with her gorgeous, lion-mane cousin Serena…through shopping. Serena chose to show Charlie that the Upper East Side wasn’t so bad by taking her through the retail gauntlet starting with Barneys and ending at Intermix.
It’s at the latter store where the two gals run into Lily and Carol, who have weirdly patched up their animosity through memories of wanting to be Solid Gold dancers(!?!). No, I am not drunk while writing this (Rufus asked Lily a similar question). After attempting to recreate the Solid Gold look for their family photo, Lily was positively floored that they were able to find leg warmers on the Upper East Side. Clearly, this gal has never been to American Apparel.
'Gossip Girl' recap: When Charlie met Serena
Anyways, Carol went nuclear when she spotted Charlie spending time (and money) with Serena and said they were leaving town. Carol was insistent that Charlie be raised in “the real world” and not this superficial place. Um, Carol…Florida is “the real world?” A state best known for drunk spring break trips and acres of land devoted to a giant animated mouse? Okay sure. But before she could defend her loopy statement, Serena overheard CeCe discussing how she sends Carol money every month. That bohemian hypocrite! By the way, I’ll be starting a new jam band called Bohemian Hypocrite. We’re gonna be huge.
William managed to get the photo shoot back on—something about him being friends with Shmitty Taschen or whoever heads up that company. So the whole gang ended up at the “modern royalty” photo shoot which took place somewhere with lots of marble staircases. True story: Rich people looooove marble. Unfortunately, Vanessa also showed up as a camera assistant for the day. Frankly, I’m surprised she wasn’t manning the portable espresso machine.
Dan also showed up to the photo shoot after being told he was chosen as an “up and comer” [LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE]. He assumed Blair was just trying to be in the same room with him but it was actually Chuck’s doing. After visiting Dan at the loft, Chuck began to suspect that there was something going on between him and Blair. So I can’t really tell if Blair is actually in love with Dan or is still in love with Chuck. It was all sorta confusing. Clearly, Dan had feelings for her but whether or not Blair felt the same way didn’t really come across. I’m sorta guessing that she was just suppressing her feelings for Dan with this whole Chuck thing. Right? Am I the only one confused?
So Vanessa once again overheard an important piece of information, this time that Blair and Dan kissed. Is Vanessa a mutant? Like, does she have enhanced hearing? I think we may be onto something. She always is hearing stuff! Too bad she doesn’t hear me yelling at my television for her to wear something not ugly! Oh snap! Yep, I said it!
Charlie showed up to the photo shoot in a mini-dress, clearly having learned from Serena’s tutorial in hemlines and cleavage. I sorta wish there was more of a Pretty Woman-esque makeover montage with a lot of hair flips and teeth but whatevs. By the end of the episode, Charlie stood up to her mother and told her she was going to stay in New York to get to know her family. Carol seemed a little nervous because it had only been a few months since some mysterious incident. Hmmmm. What could it be? I’m sorta guessing Charlie did like a Fatal Attraction number on some boy by the way her mama reacted to Charlie flirting with Dan.
Blair found out that Chuck had lured Dan to the photo shoot and got all upset with him. Sidebar: Didn’t Blair sorta look like a bullfighter in tonight’s episode? Anyhooo, she was all upset about never finding love or her prince charming when…an actual prince showed up!! Prince Louis was shown getting out of his limo! To be continued…
Oh and Raina and Nate sorta had a storyline about her being sad over her dead mother. Appropriately enough, most of their scenes took place around a bed because they were the TV equivalent of Nyquil. Wrap this subplot up stat.
All in all, I thought a pretty fun episode of GG. True there were some awkward moments at the photo shoot but I like the introduction of Carol and Charlie.

Источник: http://thefastertimes.com/tvrecap....picture

It’s been a month. After the cliff hanger that initiated the March hiatus, I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t eagerly looking forward to tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl. It’s something I’ve discussed in previous recaps; my love for this show defies explanation and contriving excuses for myself is a futile endeavor, one that I’m not going to bother with anymore. It may undermine that smug, literary superiority that I lord over my friends, or perhaps just call into question the validity of my heterosexual credentials (provided that I have any left…a contentious claim, at best), but I’m willing to take the risk. The show may be sort of trashy, but goddamn if it isn’t the most entertaining thing on television. Plus, as a wannabe fashionista, I cannot help but admire the stellar wardrobe department; do these kids know how to dress, or what?

That said, I was deeply saddened by ‘The Kids Stay in the Picture’. I’ve made no secret of my love for the budding romance between the boho-chic up-and-coming writer, Dan Humphrey and elitist, narcissistic high fashion princess Blair Waldorf. The two have all sorts of on-screen chemistry, and provide a far more intriguing match-up than their former paramours ever did (Serena, Nate, Chuck and Vanessa, in an order that would be too complicated to explain). So, needless to say, I was heartbroken by the revelation that Blair was unfazed by Dan’s advances. Come on, Blair, can’t you give the guy a chance? Dan is quite obviously smitten with her, and has been for some time, having grown out of his silly class-war posturing; for better or worse, he’s totally ditched the Chomskian detestation of the economically empowered, and feels no need to justify his feelings for Blair, even when confronted about the strangeness of it all. It speaks to a certain maturity that no one else in the cast has thought to attempt (including, or perhaps especially, the adults).

In addition, there are two points in particular where Dan’s attitude impressed me, both in dealing with stylish bad boy, Chuck Bass; first was when he was interrogated by Chuck in a move that is staggeringly hypocritical, even for him. Dan observes that Blair’s relationship with Chuck was destructive and immature, involving more schemes and dishonesty than actual support and affection. Granted, the qualities that Blair and Chuck’s relationship exhibited may also be those that Blair is best known for on her own, but Dan also points out that, in spite of her duplicity, she is an aesthete of the highest order, known to cry at art films and swoon over poetry, perhaps even capable of genuine empathy when personally fulfilled. She is an extraordinarily cultivated young woman, and deserves to express her sophistication with someone who understands her. The selfish and manipulative Chuck Bass is not going to bring out her best qualities, but rather, emphasize her worst tendencies.

As if to prove this point, Chuck’s actions in the latter half of the episode go to illustrate the second time Dan proved himself, having been duped into showing up to a swanky photoshoot he was not invited to. All a petulant, immature gambit on Chuck’s part to try to show Blair that Dan didn’t belong in their world; something that, in an earlier season, Dan might have broken Chuck’s nose over. Instead, Dan just rolls his eyes and walks the other way. For this show, it’s a truly revolutionary act; almost every plot revolves around someone feeling wronged (sometimes justifiably, sometimes not), and concocting an elaborate and unrealistic revenge plot. Dan obviously cares deeply for Blair, and despises Chuck, but he opts to not get in the middle of it. Way to go, Humphrey.

As to Chuck himself, I don’t want to give the impression that I dislike him; quite to the contrary, he’s one of my favorite characters. I think he’s all wrong for Blair, who I quite like too, and the Bass Industries buyout plotline stagnated long enough to make his scenes kind of boring, but despite his unreasonable behavior (or, I suppose, because of it), I warmed back up to him again. The appeal of Chuck Bass is that he’s a debauched hedonist with a heart, and his pathetic attempt to sabotage Dan both proved just how socially maladjusted he is, while doubly speaking volumes as to how much he cares for Blair, in his own twisted way. He does not, however, in any way deserve her. I have a soft spot for men with a broken heart; Eugene Onegin, my favorite literary character, is such because he embodies Byronic angst to the farthest degree possible, first out of existential boredom (much like Chuck’s aimless hedonism in early seasons), then the rejection of the woman he’s come to love. It may sound odd, but like Onegin, I prefer Chuck to be cast as a tragic hero. He’s more interesting that way.

I suppose I cannot just focus on the aspect of the show I am enjoying, however. A disproportionately large amount of the episode was devoted to the Lily van der Woodsen-Bass-Humphrey dramatics, where something always seems to be happening, but the involved mindgames are so cyclical that it never actually develops. These people are all out to get one another, something that’s toyed with in the Dan-Blair-Chuck love triangle, but never takes precedence over actual character work. Baron Robert de Montesquieu, the basis for Proust’s (arguably) most compelling character, the Baron de Charlus, once said that hating and slandering your enemies, for whatever it is worth, is not nearly so delectable as doing so to your friends. This philosophy is nowhere more evident than in Gossip Girl.

Anyway, Lily is still going to prison, and her sister pays a visit, which is only remotely interesting to me because I have a very confusing attraction to older women. Serena reunites with her estranged cousin as a result, and her glorified con artist of a Dad is still hanging around for some reason, so tension is thick in the air. There’s a lot of squabbling about the same photo shoot that Chuck uses to humiliate Dan, and none of it matters very much. But, by the end of it, Rufus and Papa van der Woodson are inexplicably friendly, and Serena’s cousin Charlie has been added to the increasingly robust supporting cast, who is hinted to have a dark and troubling past. Yeah, join the club, sweetheart. This isn’t exactly The Brady Bunch. Anyway, until next week.

Источник: http://www.wetpaint.com/gossip-....picture

Welcome back, GGers. We may have been biting our nails for months, but in Gossip Girl world, it’s been just days since the events of the last episode, “Empire of the Son.” That means Lily (Kelly Rutherford) just confessed to a felony, William Van Der Woodsen (Billy Baldwin) just swung back into town, and oh yeah, Dan (Penn Badgley) and Blair (Leighton Meester) just kissed. Where will it all land? Read on!

The power of Dan’s smooch has left Blair bedbound — she’s been malingering for days because of his “life-changing” kiss. But there’s one thing that could rouse Blair from a good wallow in romantic angst: The chance to boss people around. Epperly (remember her?) calls Blair and asks her to help coordinate a photo shoot of “American royalty.” (B doesn’t seem at all put out that no one asked her to be in the book. Maybe some Humphrey really did rub off on her.) But it turns out that Epperly only hired Blair at Chuck’s (Ed Westwick) request. He is in the photo shoot and he’s hoping to log some face time with Blair, having tired of waiting for her to become Anna Wintour before they can bone again.

Who else is in the photo shoot? Some ever-changing quantity of van der Woodsen-Humphrey-Rhodeses. Lily tries desperately to distract herself from her upcoming sentencing by basking in the photo shoot with Serena (Blake Lively) and CeCe (Caroline Lagerfelt). Complication 1: Lily’s estranged (and super judgy) sister Carol (Sheila Kelley) and her daughter Charlie (Kaylee DeFer) show up. Complication 2: Her photo shoot is cancelled because of her felonious ways. True royalty would never send an innocent man to prison. They would straight up lop off his head.

After some tipoffs from Epperly, Chuck tracks down Dan to ask him who Blair kissed. Dan is like, “Beats me! But it was probably someone awesome and handsome and nice.” Chuck, no idiot, is like, “Yeah, it’s you, dude,” and sends him a fake invite to the photo shoot to humiliate him. Blair reveals to Dorota (Zuzanna Szadkowski) that the big kiss-prompted revelation was that she wished it was with Chuck. But when she witnesses Chuck’s nasty prank on Dan, she realizes he hasn’t grown up at all. She dumps him in a way that actually feels like a dumping — and she has never seemed more over him. Sadface! Then she points Dan toward Serena without even trying to make out with him again. Double sadface!

Naive Charlie doesn’t think being rich would suck as much as her mom claims. She’s soon palling around with Serena, snapping up designer clothes like she’s, well, a Rhodes. Which is fair. Carol doesn’t think so — she tries to haul Charlie on a plane back to their houseboat, but once Charlie learns that contrary to her rebel stance, Carol has been taking money from CeCe for years, Charlie digs her heels in and decides to stay in NYC.

Raina (Tika Sumpter) spends the day lounging around in a bathrobe in Nate’s (Chace Crawford) apartment, moping about her dad, who also wants her to be in the American Royalty photo shoot. Shouldn’t something with “royalty” in the title be a little more exclusive? Anyway, Raina’s estrangement from her dad has her mulling over her mom. She decides to try to track her down. Psst, Raina: Your boyfriend’s roommate’s dad killed her! That’s gonna make things awkward around the breakfast table.

Lily and her extensive clan end up taking their own private family photo as the phone rings to voicemail with Lily’s sentencing. Dan and Charlie seem to share a moment, which visibly worries Carol, who alludes to some dark incident that made Charlie drop out of college. She says, “She needs to be watched constantly.” Don’t worry, Carol. The Ostroff Center is a rite of passage for young van der Woodsens.

In the midst of all this family and relationship drama, Blair once more takes to bed, wondering why Kate Middleton gets a fairytale and she doesn’t. Don’t look now, B, but there’s a handsome prince carrying a single shoe stepping out of a cab on Madison Avenue. Yep, Blair’s Parisian prince is back in town. Step aside, Chair and Dair: It’s time for Louair. Or Blouis? Never mind, let’s just go with Blair and Louis.

Источник: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtra....ey.html

Oh, Upper East Siders. We don't ask much of "Gossip Girl," do we? (We are, after all, still faithfully watching it.) After a seven-week hiatus that ended with Dan and Blair finally, suspensefully locking lips, we wanted only two things: a few weeks of "Dair's" impossible love affair and some answers about the rest of the characters. But guess what? April 18 has come and gone, and we still don't have either of those things.

When we last left our characters, Serena and Ben had reluctantly parted ways. Although last night's episode takes place a mere week later, Ben might as well be dead, because we hear nothing about him.

Chuck, meanwhile, had learned that his father was responsible for Raina's mother's death. Since Blair was too busy testing out her feelings for Lonely Boy to console him, our antihero seemed on the brink of another debaucherous breakdown. Now, he's apparently sobered up, gotten over Raina and (sigh) ready to get Blair back again. Raina, for her part, only shows up in a few short scenes, to underline the awkwardness of her jump from Chuck's bed to Nate's and wonder aloud about her mother's whereabouts. Why hasn't Chuck clued her in about what Russell was hiding? Your guess is as good as mine, but I won't be surprised if we never know for sure.

We've also spent the past several weeks wondering what will happen to Lily, who turned herself in for getting Ben locked up. At the end of that episode, Billy Baldwin -- er, Serena and Eric's dad, William Van der Woodsen -- showed up and intimated to poor, naive Rufus that the family was going to come together and scheme Lily out of serving time. But we don't hear much about that this week. The phone does ring at the end of the episode, just when news of Lily's sentencing is due -- but she decides to ignore it.
Instead of tackling Lily's impending date with an orange jumpsuit, the Humphrey-Van der Woodsen clan chooses to fixate on a new "Modern Royalty" book that art and design publisher Taschen is putting together, compiling portraits of society families. Grandma CeCe rallies the Rhodes women for a photo shoot -- including Lily's sister Carol, who lives on a houseboat and scorns all things Upper East Side. Although Carol thinks she's left her daughter, Charlie, at home, away from the toxic influence of Serena and Lily, the 18-year-old has secretly sneaked along to meet her cousin. (Side note: Am I the only one who found it unnerving that KayLee DeFer, the actress who plays Charlie, looks so much like Leighton Meester?)

Of course, Taschen isn't so interested in the Rhodes women after news of Lily's legal troubles breaks. When William and Rufus try to fix this tragedy, an incredibly dull conflict arises in which it looks like William has fixed the photo shoot so that the Rhodes ladies are out of "Modern Royalty" and he and his children are in. Turns out, the switch has nothing to do with William. Everyone makes up. Thrilling, right?

As for Serena and Charlie, Lily and Carol bust them mid-shopping binge. Charlie is in very big trouble and is supposed to be on the first plane home, but she eludes her mom and manages to stay long enough to show up for the aborted photo shoot. With Serena's help, and aided by the revelation that supposedly independent Carol has been accepting money from CeCe for years, Charlie talks her mother into letting her stay with their wealthy relatives for a while. There is an odd, promising moment, toward the end of the episode, when Carol comes close to telling Lily why Charlie left college; it sounds like when this secret finally comes out, it's going to be juicy. So, while Charlie doesn't seem like a particularly interesting addition to the cast yet, I think it's possible she'll eventually cause enough drama to earn her keep. Hey, maybe she'll be the new Jenny Humphrey.

Last, and most disappointingly, there's Dan and Blair. I half-expected this week to open with the kiss its predecessor closed on, but instead it gave us Blair sulking in bed and Dan confessing to Eric, "I kissed Blair Waldorf... It was just once, and it was weird." It soon becomes clear that Dan felt something. And Blair's initial mentions of the kiss sound promising: "I kissed someone, and it was a life-changing experience," she tells Epperly -- whose return, as Chuck's operative, feels especially unnecessary and contrived.

It turns out that Blair means the kiss proved to her that she really was ready for a mature relationship with Chuck. But before she gets to tell him that, he and Epperly launch an exceedingly lame scheme: They invite Dan to the Taschen shoot, just to show Blair how utterly out of place he is in high society. If she really were in love with Dan, it never would have worked. In fact, even though Blair supposedly (see how I'm holding onto hope?) has no feelings for Dan, she quickly catches on to Chuck's plan, and their next go-round is over before it begins. "Now that I know I'm ready, I realize you're not," Blair tells Chuck. And that's that. Until, probably, next week.

If you've been following these recaps, you know how I feel about Chuck and Blair: They may be meant for each other, but we need a break from their histrionics because these two characters have exhausted just about every story line imaginable. I thought Dan and Blair would be a good distraction from Chuck and Blair, and it seems like most readers were all for "Dair," too. I'm not totally sure the book has been closed on their unlikely love affair. The way Dan and Charlie were looking at each other at the end of the episode certainly hints that something may be afoot between the two of them, though. And, sadly, it looks like Serena is about to get thrown in the mix, now that Vanessa the Spy has tipped her off about the kiss. Can someone please remind me of what she's still doing on this show?

"Gossip Girl" highbrow reference watch:

"Does William Carlos Williams go under W or C?" - Dan to Eric, while shelving books

Your weekly "Gossip Girl" fashion top five:

1. Blair's red, people-in-kimonos-patterned pajamas

2. Serena's black, strapless Marchesa photo-shoot gown with the high slit

3. Lily's little, black Roland Mouret photo-shoot dress with the severe collar

4. Serena's furry, pastel, plaid coat

5. Lily's lavender silk dress with the ruffles down the front.

Take a Picture, It’ll Last Longer

Feels like ages since I’ve had some good dirt to spill. But finally, and thankfully, I can bring you major gossip that went down on the UES. Hope you had time to prepare. Are you ready for it?

Lily was in big trouble. She’d handed herself over to the court and admitted that she forged Serena’s signature on the affidavit that put Ben in jail. But now it was time to wait for sentencing (which could be up to ten years for forgery and obstruction of justice – eek!). So Lily was hiding out in the penthouse because the paparazzi were out of control. They were camped in front of the van der Wodsen building waiting to get a shot of jailbird Lily or any of her family members. And you thought me and my tipsters were bad! Unfortunately for Lily, the VDW household was not as peaceful as she would have liked. That’s because not only was her ex-husband Will van der Woodsen back in town but so was her mother, CeCe. Can you say full house? And things only got worse when CeCe revealed that her and her girls were going to be photographed together for the upcoming modern royalty book. And by her girls, CeCe meant all of them. Including Aunt Carol from Florida. Whoa! Blast from the way, way past. When Carol showed up, she was none too nice. She was snarky and bitter. Making fun of her sister’s recent legal troubles. Rude, Aunt Carol. Really rude. Though everyone was in for another slap in the face when the publisher called up with some bad news. The Rhodes women photo shoot was off! You guessed it—because of Lily’s scandal. Looks like the family name is no longer very prestigious…
But little did Carol know that she’d been followed to New York. By her daughter, Charlie, no less. Turns out Carol has always been so disgusted with the toxic UES lifestyle, that she’s kept her only child far, far away from it. But of course Charlie wanted to see the world for herself. So she got on a plane, without her mother’s knowledge, and headed for the Big Apple. Luckily, Charlie found Serena first and S was very excited to see her long lost cousin. Perhaps Charlie needed to spend a day with her so she could make her own judgments about this UES world. No more letting mommy tell Charlie what to think. So the cousins decided to do what most people on the UES live to do: shop! Best activity ever! And while the cousins were bonding so were the sisters. Carol and Lily couldn’t continue to argue. Because the truth was they’d been through a lot together. Even though they were completely different, they were still sisters. Awww.

But when the sisters bumped into the cousins at Intermix, all hell broke loose. Carol could not believe Charlie was in NYC. What was she doing here??? And what was she doing spending a $1,000 on clothes? This was exactly why Carol wanted to keep her daughter sheltered. And with that, Carol decided to take Charlie back to Florida ASAP. This world wasn’t for them. Serena was bummed that her cousin was leaving so soon. Sucks! And not fair! Though when Serena overheard CeCe and Carol talking, she was taken aback. Turns out, CeCe sends high-and-mighty Carol a check every month and even paid her to come in for the photo shoot. Um, Aunt Carol: hypocrite, much?

All the while, Blair was depressed. She had no job and her path to becoming the Blair Waldorf was stagnant. Plus, she’d experienced a kiss that revealed her future. OMG! What does that mean? How can kissing Dan Humphrey reveal anything?! Anyway, Epperly called up Blair with a job assignment: to help her with the modern royalty book photo shoot. Hmm, Blair could use the experience so she decided to do it. What Blair didn’t know was that Chuck was behind the whole thing. He was concerned about B since she was ignoring him. Could it be? Had Blair met someone? And Chuck was determined to get to the bottom of it…

At the photo shoot Blair confided in Epperly about her magical and mysterious kiss. It was life changing! And of course Epperly texted Chuck. Sneaky! So Chuck went on a mission to find the culprit. Who could B have kissed!? He even went to the Humphrey loft. Um, has Chuck Bass ever been there before??? This was serious stuff. Chuck asked Dan if he knew any deats about Blair’s life altering kiss. Since they had worked together at W, perhaps Dan would know Blair’s secret kisser. Dan was taken aback. Blair called the kiss life changing? This was a positive for him considering he might have feelings for Blair. EXCUSE ME?! Yeah. Turns out Dan had told Eric about the kiss and admitted to kind of crushing on B. Eric was shocked (like the rest of us). D & B?? WOW! Anyway Dan suggested that Chuck leave it alone and let Blair be happy. If this new guy’s making her content then Chuck should just let her be. Dan cares about B’s happiness? And that’s when Chuck figured it all out: Dan was the guy she kissed. WTF? Watch out, Dan…

Meanwhile Blair had Dorota bring her a new outfit to the photo shoot. B had decided she was going to tell that certain someone her true feelings. Tonight. And she wanted to look her best. Dorota could not believe it. All this over Lonely Boy!?! And that’s when Blair was startled. Dan?! Ick, no way! By kissing Dan, B realized how much she wanted to be with Chuck. OMFG! Sorry, Humphrey. Blair believed Chuck had matured and now they could finally be together. If Chuck was her prince, why kiss anymore scrawny, New Yorker reading toads?

Though when Dan showed up at the photo shoot because he thought he was going to be featured in the “up and comer” section, Blair knew the truth: Chuck was on to them! He knew about the kiss. Chuck had obviously arranged for Dan to show up only to embarrass him. I mean who’s ever heard of an “up and comer” section in a modern royalty book. How stupid! Blair confronted Chuck. Obviously he hadn’t matured after all. Both she and Dan knew their kiss meant nothing (sure about that, B?), and Blair was ready to admit she wanted to be with Chuck and only Chuck. But maybe that was the wrong decision. Because even though Dan might not be UES royalty, he wasn’t a child like Chuck. Ouch! Realizing his mistake, Chuck tried to reason with B. They could still build their futures together. Starting now. But Blair didn’t think now was the right time for the two of them. Chuck hadn’t changed. He still had years before he’d be capable of a real relationship. Ouch again!

Away from Chuck, Blair and Dan discussed their kiss and how it obviously meant nothing. To either of them. Dan even told Blair that her prince was out there. Waiting for her. He was certain of it. Aww. Poor Dan. Why does he always know exactly the right thing to say? Though these two should’ve been a bit more stealth in where they discussed this private matter. Because guess who overheard the whole thing? Vanessa (who had been hired as a photo assistant for the shoot). UGH!!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately for the Rhodes/van der Woodsens, their photo had been reinstated. Phew! Royalty once again! However, when they showed up at the shoot, they were super surprised to find out the only people now in the picture were Will and his two children. Huh? Everyone was livid. Had Will done this on purpose? But the good doctor insisted that he hadn’t done a thing! Although there was a bigger problem: Charlie was missing. Carol was freaking out. Her daughter didn’t know anything about New York! Where could she be? Serena told her she’d informed Charlie about how Carol takes CeCe’s money every month. No wonder she’d run away from her hypocritical mother. So there, Carol! Thankfully, Charlie showed at the photo shoot (in a gorg dress) and let her mom have it. She’d been lying to her all these years! How could her mom keep her away from her family? A family she’d be lucky to be a part of. All Charlie wanted to do for a little was escape from her mother’s control. Good thing for her, her cousin Serena had an idea. Serena and Blair would introduce Charlie to the wonders of an UES sleepover. Super jealous!

As for the sisters, Carol admitted to Lily that she was embarrassed that she’d had to resort to taking their mother’s money. She’d always wanted Lily to think she was different. A bohemian who could take care of herself. But she got pregnant and needed help so she had no choice but to turn to CeCe. And the truth was Carol was genuinely proud of her little sister. She’d done the right thing by turning herself in. Who cares what people think of her?! That was the Lily Carol knew and loved. And with that the sisters Rhodes made up. Again. <3 it.

The next morning Charlie decided she wanted to stay in NYC. Serena even offered up her old room at the van der Woodsens. It’d be good to catch up with the family she hardly knew. But Carol wasn’t so sure it was a good idea. Charlie had left college a few months ago because something happened there. Hmm… But Carol agreed and asked Lily to watch over Charlie. Carefully. Um, WTF went down?!?!?

As for the family portrait, it turned out Will hadn’t done anything to sabotage the photo shoot. It was the editor’s idea to take a picture of just the doctor and his children. Rufus was relieved. Perhaps Will had changed. And maybe Rufus could learn to be okay with Lily’s ex. No, these two weren’t going to be besties but they could at least be civil. How mature! So Rufus gathered the troops and had Laurie Simmons come to the penthouse to take a real family portrait. It was adorbs. And highly confusing with how everyone was actually related. But I guess that’s par for the course on the UES.

Ugh and in typical Vanessa Abrams behavior, she had to stick her Urban Outfitters adorned neck into everyone’s business. She called up Serena and left her a voicemail saying she overheard Dan and Blair talking about how they kissed. Bitch!

Oh! And you’re probably wondering about Nate. Well, he and Raina were taking things to the next level AKA they were holed up at The Empire doing, well, you know. But in between sexing it up, Raina was feeling bad about everything that happened with Lily. It was her father’s fault that the van der Woodsens were going through this mess. Russell had tried to make amends with his daughter but Raina wasn’t interested. Though when she was asked to pose for the modern royalty book, Raina realized the painful truth. Without her father in her life and her mother MIA, she had no family. Sad. And since her father had lied about everything, maybe he’d been lying about the situation with her mother, too. Interesting…

And just when you thought the UES had been busy enough, someone else arrived in town. It was none other than Prince Louis of Monaco. Yep, Blair’s summer fling. And he was holding B’s shoe as he stepped out of his limo. What does it all mean? Your guess is as good as mine. Though I hope his visit is auspicious. Something tells me Blair needs a prince in her life. I mean, honestly, who doesn’t?

xo xo Gossip Girl

Это рекап с wetpaint.com

Gossip Girl Recap: A Royally Complicated Affair in Season 4, Episode 19: "Petty in Pink"
http://www.wetpaint.com/gossip-....in-pink

Wait. Blair made Dan — who she had a secret thing with — publicly pretend to date her, so she could have a secret thing with Louis, even though she really wanted to go public with him? Whew. Normally these recaps are for people who missed the episode, but tonight’s ep is so complicated that you may need a refresher in prose form even if you watched it. Twice. And took notes. Ready? We’ll lay out the evening’s intrigue as clearly as we can.

Blair (Leighton Meester) is all aflutter at the prospect of dating Prince Louis (Hugo Becker). The one thing harshing her buzz is that Louis doesn’t want to go public: His family thinks she’s too common to for him. Um, hello? Shiny-haired commoner is the new royalty. Blair and Louis try to keep things on the down low, but they’re soon found out because Louis’ handler Lucien hired Dan (who thought it was a journalism job) to keep an eye on them. Blair tries to save her fairytale with a good old-fashioned scheme, roping in a penitent Dan to pose as her boyfriend so Lucien will think she and Louis are just buddies.

But! Serena (Blake Lively), who was tipped off about Dan and Blair’s kiss last week by Vanessa (Jessica Szohr), enlists Charlie (Kaylee DeFer) to stalk them to see if it’s true. Long story short, Serena ends up convinced that Dan and Blair have been sneaking around behind her back, and Dan and Blair’s fake kiss ends up all over Gossip Girl. Who was the agent of all that chaos and misunderstanding? New girl Charlie, who somehow has yet to go “Y’all crazy and it’s cold here,” and head back to Florida.

Meanwhile, in Chuck’s apartment, no one goes to parties anymore. Instead, they just hang out in bathrobes and are sad about their parents. Raina (Tika Sumpter) and Nate (Chace Crawford) are trying to find Raina’s mom. “Funny story, she’s dead and my dad killed her,” Chuck does not say. Instead, he breakfasts on scotch and sadness and pursues his own investigation into Avery Thorpe’s whereabouts. Raina thinks she’s found her mom when she tracks down a Jersey waitress by the same name, but a trip across the river yields nothing — the woman claims not to have children. Chuck’s own PI gets more solid results — a security tape from the night of the fire that shows Bart arguing with Avery before she disappears into the doomed building, never to be heard from again. Ten bucks says the woman from the tape is the waitress.

You know who should really commit more felonies? Lily (Kelly Rutherford). Because it’s turning her into a total badass. She’s under house arrest and in total denial — she thinks she can continue to reign supreme on the Upper East Side from within the range of her ankle bracelet. After her UES posse of skinny blondes (including Nate’s mom) diss her, Rufus (Matt Settle) does manage to successfully blackmail them into having this week’s fancy party at Lily’s place, but after one too many snotty remarks, Lily is all “Eff this noise,” and deliberately sets off her bracelet so the cops will come shut the shindig down. That’s our girl! Maybe she should embrace this side of herself and build a criminal empire. Finally, an activity she and Jenny (Taylor Momsen) could do together.

Dan and Blair finally come clean to S, but it’s too late: She and Blair are well into their semi-annual giant jealous fume-fest. Those two are more possessive of each other than they’d allow any boy to be. Dan slinks back to Brooklyn to give the conniving Vanessa a very cold, very satisfying diss, telling her their friendship is over for good. He ends up drinking with Charlie and admits to her that he has feelings for Blair, while Charlie spills that she, too, has recently been dumped. Hmm, anyone we know? Queen B huffs off with her prince, who, after demanding to know that she’s serious about him (after one day? Get over yourself, Louis!) decides to go public with their relationship. Blair’s got her fairytale, but she’s got a couple excess princes to deal with. How will Sir Dan of DUMBO and Baron Von Bass react to her new paramour? Prediction: Dan will mope; Chuck will leave a horse’s head in Louis’ bed and/or buy his country.

'Gossip Girl' Season 4, Episode 19 Recap
by Laura Prudom, posted Apr 25th 2011 10:00PM

This is your wake-up call, Upper East Siders -- after last week's snoozefest, tonight's 'Gossip Girl' was a return to the show we all know and love. There was scheming, smooching and suspicion, fabulous fashion and, oh yes, round 56 of the Serena versus Blair war.

Though we stopped short of anyone taking a tumble into a fountain, it's clear that the ceasefire has ceased, and B and S are back to backstabbing, both accusing each other of jealousy and rampant egomania (and both kind of having a point).

But despite her BFFrenemy's best efforts, it seems like Blair has captured the heart of her Parisian Prince Charming -- for now, at least.

It both amuses and infuriates me that Serena and Blair are still having exactly the same argument four years later, especially since, as usual, a little honesty would've stymied any misunderstanding, hurt or jealousy. Sigh.

Lonely Boy, meanwhile, is back to being lonely -- Serena doesn't want him, but she's apparently feeling vindictive enough to decide that she doesn't want Blair to have him either, and though he was clearly feeling the heat from their second kiss, Blair seems content to leave him out in the cold.

It seems like no amount of kissing will turn this frog into a prince for our Queen B., especially not when she has bona fide royalty on her arm, but Dan's so smitten, I can't imagine his crush will go unrequited for long. In the meantime, though, he's got Serena's cousin Charlie as an acceptable substitute for the socialite he's jonesing for, and the pair seem to have a lot in common.

Despite the way Charlie's interest was telegraphed from the moment she laid eyes on Dan, their relationship would make a lot of sense -- they were both raised as commoners who have belatedly been thrown in at the deep end of the UES social scene, trying to get a handle on being privileged without getting tangled in the strings that come attached to that wealth.

When Charlie agreed to help Serena out, she clearly had no concept of what she was getting herself into, being treated to a crash-course in stalking, spotting and video recording over the course of her day trailing Dan; she'd make an excellent protégé for Gossip Girl.

In recent interviews, the producers have gone out of their way to emphasize Charlie's sweetness and pure intentions; on one hand, that makes me suspicious -- because when is anyone exactly as they appear on 'Gossip Girl'? -- but on the other, it would be nice to find a character who's all sugar and spice for the whole of their arc, without finding themselves corrupted by the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

I'm intrigued to see if the writers can find a way to keep Charlie likable even if she decides to act on her desire for Dan; just as long as we're spared another good girl gone bad cliché, since Vanessa and Little J have already worn that plot thin.

Speaking of questionable life choices, poor Chuck seems to have hit rock bottom (again) following Blair's dismissal last week -- but he pulled himself together enough to help Raina pursue a lead on her long-lost mother. I must admit, I can't really bring myself to care too much about the Bass/Thorpe murder mystery routine, but Nate is still nice to look at, and he even left the suite this week, so we're making progress.

Mommy van der-Bass-Humphrey wasn't allowed to venture quite so far from her apartment, but at least she had a good excuse; the Pink Party might as well have been a costume soirée, since Lily went LiLo this week, with her very own ankle monitor to complete the ensemble.

Eric, as usual, didn't have much to do, but did get the best line of the night: "The only thing thicker than blood is the ink on Page Six." Truer words have never been spoken on the Upper East Side -- and though Lily was definitely in need of a wake-up call after her previously diabolical behavior, I was still cheering for her when she got her catty contemporaries booted from the apartment, if only because Nate's mom has always been as dull as her son and not nearly as pretty.

Vanessa was still skulking around being redundant and stirring up trouble (in that order), but I'd rather have her brand of scheming than Jenny's any day, since Vanessa doesn't have the tendency to turn up looking like she lost a face-painting contest with The Joker. I'm not sure how many episodes I can put up with her attempting to dish the dirt to every member of the 'GG' gang and being rebuffed, though -- I feel like she's been playing that storyline out for the past two years.

Rufus almost had something to do this week, but we know it was all really Eric and Serena's hard work that got the Pink Party moved. Close, but no cigar, Humphrey.

Now that's more like it.

After a slower episode last week that introduced set some things in motion but offered little in the way of drama, intrigue or humor, tonight offered all of the above.

If you like Gossip Girl, then you probably liked "Petty in Pink." Maybe you don't like some of the characters' decisions, but with the show's standard formula for success - sexiness, spying and scandals - it had all the makings of a solid episode and it delivered.

Despite my disappointment that we didn't SEE the kiss between Dan and Blair (come ON, writers) it did result in a major revelation for the Donut: He LOVES her!

He tried to deny this to others and to himself. He even kissed her as a ruse to aid her romancing another guy. But he's finally come to grips with his true feelings.

I love that Dan acknowledged this. The question is what he does next.

Will he try to get in the middle of the royal courtship Blair is so taken with? Will Blair ever admit her similar connection with Dan, which she continues to repress?

Somehow I predict that Charlie, who's getting the hang of UES life quickly, will try to help him win Blair back, while secretly harboring feelings for Dan herself.

Dan's gotta make a move at some point. While Prince Louis seems like a good-on-paper guy and all, B seems more smitten with the IDEA of him than anything.

The glitz and glamor of dating royalty were evident in that final kissing scene, with the flashbulbs sparkling and our Queen B swooning. But I think it'll fade in time.

I just don't see him as the long-term fit for Blair, and am going to predict that the only Royal Wedding this spring will involve Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Between Dan and Chuck, who was not involved in Blair's story line this week, one of NYC's finest will triumph come May. Will it be the Prince or the Pauper?

While some parts of this saga were obviously hokey - Lucien yanking Louis back to France unless Blair was dating Dan; any of Serena's reasons for meddling; Charlie's intense desire to become a spy - that's par for the course for GG.

In fact, combined with a fancy party, that pretty much IS Gossip Girl.

The party in question was an all-pink affair to benefit the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, hosted at the VDW penthouse where Lily is now under house arrest.

Wearing an ankle monitor a la Lindsay Lohan, who was hilariously referenced at one point, Lil ultimately pulled the plug on the event after Nate's mom dissed her.

This after Rufus, who actually had a conversation with Dan (there's a first time for everything), went to great lengths to move it to her pad, too. What can you do.

The fact that Lily's simply under house arrest felt anticlimactic, but is probably a realistic punishment, and allowed us to focus on other stories, so I'm cool with it.

While Blair tried to keep a regal romance intact and on the DL, and Lily attempted to stay socially relevant despite a felony conviction, Raina tried to find her mom.

At first, Chuck urged Nate to stop her. Then he accompanied them to New Jersey in search of Avery Thorpe, afraid of what they might learn and what it will mean.

What Chuck knows (or at least strongly believes) is that Raina's mom died in that fire and Bart was responsible, and it's eating away at him more every second.

Beneath the Howard Hughes routine lies a young man coming to grips with his family's legacy, a lucrative but increasingly dark history. What will he find next?

All I know is that Ed Westwick continues to sell it so well. This brooding, tormented shell of Chuck Bass is hard to watch, and at the same time a treat to watch.

Will he try to protect Raina - and his own reputation - from the truth? Will Nate step up and play a role beyond that of supportive boyfriend/sidekick? Stay tuned.

Perhaps the best part of the whole episode involved someone else Dan is not capable of being friends with. Watching him SHRED Vanessa at the end was tremendous.

"Just to be clear, we are not friends." OHHH, he went there!

One of my favorite things about coming to work Tuesdays is my colleague Eric (a.k.a. Gossip Guy) eviscerating Vanessa in our Gossip Girl Round Table Q&A discussions.

Having extended the olive branch to his old friend only to learn she was going behind his back all along, it was as if Dan spoke directly for Gossip Guy with that line.

Also great were the one-liners from Charlie that good-naturedly mocked the show and its often convoluted plot lines. "Right ... because that happens." Priceless.

http://nymag.com/daily....or.html

Last week, Serena taught her cousin Charlie how to blow $1,000 on clothes like it was no big whoop. This week, she indoctrinated her in the complex art of managing your friendships through stealthy manipulation and one-upmanship. She should have stuck to shopping: Serena’s mission to find out whether Blair and Dan were being "horrible friends" by sneaking around behind her back failed spectacularly, of course — Serena can’t even fasten a bra, never mind put together a Mission — and the resulting blowout, in which Blair called Serena out on her egoism and her stupidity, left Serena diminished and alone, pathetically dialing a one-night stand in France just so that she could have a French boyfriend, too. Elsewhere, other friendships exploded simultaneously: Anne Archibald, surrounded by a grotesque Greek chorus of pink-clad, Botox-ed minions, told Lily off for cold-shouldering her when the Captain was down and out, and Dan unceremoniously slammed the door in his old buddy Vanessa’s face while her soon-to-be-replacement scoped out her old room. And with Nate continuing to blithely schtup Chuck’s ex-girlfriend in his BFF’s very home, it raised the question: Who on the Upper East Side is a good friend? Only, it seems, Rufus, who in another life we imagine was a loyal hound called Rusty.

Realer Than Someone Giving a Handy at Greenhouse
• The shoe that Louis brings Blair is a Roger Vivier. And is it not the same one that she was only wearing one of during her W meltdown? Plus 5 for recap-worthy memory, costume team!
• Rufus and/or Dan keeps DVDs in a 1995-style cloth binder. Plus 5. Hopefully there’s a DMB album wedged in there somewhere behind the well-worn disc of The Philadelphia Story.
• Blair declines to wear a skirt that says,“Let’s skip dinner and make a sex tape,” for her date with Louis, but nonetheless owns such a skirt, probably from the time she and Chuck played, “I’m Coco and you’re Ice T.” Plus 2.
• Blair totally takes back an MCL cuff to/from one of her minions. Plus 3.
• Serena requires Charlie’s help to make an Internet search. Plus 2.
• Charlie, to Serena, as they launch into investigating Dan and Blair: “I’m sorry, I’m still new at this, how is this better than just asking them?”
Serena: “Well, because if Vanessa is lying and it isn’t true, then I’m a horrible friend for believing her. But if it is true, then they’re horrible friends for not telling me.” Plus 10, because that pretty much sums up the whole series.
• As does this: “Oh, that doesn’t mean anything. They went to Cornwall to find Juliet because she drugged me and tried to convince everyone I was crazy.” Plus 5.
• Blair: “No one can see me here, and even though you fall under that moniker I still need you to go.” Plus 2.
• Charlie mispronounces Veselka. Plus 2.
• Surely we’ve seen Chuck sip a single malt whiskey for breakfast before, but it may be the first time he’s admitted it’s because it “takes the edge off the coke.” Plus 2 for exposition.
• Eric: “The only thing thicker than blood is the ink on 'Page Six.'” It’s true, they make it out of blood and brains. Plus 3.
• Louis: “My parents do not approve. You are a commoner.”
Blair: “Well have they seen Princess Stephanie’s husbands? I’m not a circus performer.” That gets a meager Plus 1, because while it was a funny exchange, Louis is far too sweet to have said that to Blair.
• Blair’s dressing-down of Serena nailed her for her self-centeredness and her intellectual shortcomings — “Dan and I have a real connection. We did things like visit the Dia and debate Cahbrol versus Romer. Things that we could never do with you.” — though if she’d really wanted to hit her best where it really hurts, she would have gone for the chest, not the brain, so Plus only 5.
• Blaine Trump, scone lover. Plus 3.
• There has to be something wrong with a handsome, charming, smart prince willing to defy his family and fly 3,000 miles to see a girl who epically screwed up not just one but two dates. And there is. It’s his ridiculous gay-ass lisp. Seriously, is he talking with a macaron under his tongue? Plus 3.
• After the episode, Intel Jessica looked at her notes. “I hate to break it to you,” she had written, “but CBGB is a moral compromise.” That sounds about right. Plus 2.
• Christ, poor Vanessa. At this point, she’s like one of those dumb animals let loose onto hunting grounds to be killed by businessmen for sport. It’s clear from the look on her face that being brought on simply to be defeated is wearing on her. No points, we’re just saying. Next we hear of Vanessa she’ll be Oxycontined to the gills, living somewhere in Lowell, Massachusetts.
• The socialite that tried to kiss Serena in the bathroom at last year’s pink party was called “Bubbles Macintosh.” Plus 1.
• After seeing Blair and Dan at Paul Smith, Charlie correctly guesses that after sneaking around together for months, they’ve decided to attend a big social event together. She’s getting the hang of the Gossip Girl logic already. Plus 1.
• You’re a writer on a show in its fourth season: How do you fuck with the young actors who most likely make no secret of the fact they’d rather have moved on to bigger things? Make them say the words “Blaine Trump’s butler’s pantry,” repeatedly. Plus 5.
• “There’s not a woman in this room who didn’t take some pleasure in your downfall, myself included,” Anne Archibald tells Lily icily. “You may want to adjust your dress. Your monitor is showing.” Plus 1.
• Charlie goes all the way to Brooklyn to say three sentences to Dan, then says, “I’ve taken up enough of your time.” Now she’s really getting the hang of how things work around here. Plus 2.
• Dan to Vanessa: “Vanessa, I know we’ve been friends since we were little and we both like pierogis, and my dad really misses you, but just to be clear, so there’s no misunderstanding down the road, we are not friends anymore.” That was, like, the most Dan Humphrey speech ever. Plus 5.

Total: 70

Faker Than a New York Socialite Believing for a Second That the People She Goes to Parties With Are Her Friends
• Wait: Lily put a man in prison for three years, and she only gets nine months of house arrest? Eh, Minus only 5.
• And Dorota is the person who has to tell us this? For shame, writers. Minus 5.
• We are to believe Lily shops at Gilt Groupe? It was one thing when country mouse Juliet used Rent the Runway. But if Lily was using any online shopping site, it would be Moda Operandi, socialite Lauren Santo Domingo’s site for the tragically underserved super-rich. Minus 10.
• Blair’s Blonde Minion: “What’s more important than school?” Um, Blair? Minus 5.
• Blair would never “take a page from Gwyneth and Chris.” Minus 3.
• Ew, Blair takes Louis to Veselka?? Couldn’t she have gone to Gramercy Tavern and booked the private room? Minus 3.
• Prince Louis, who wants to keep a low profile, arrives at Veselka in the East Village in a limousine. Minus 3.
• Blair: “They moved the party.” Dan: “Who moves a party?” Has he even been paying attention to this show for the past four seasons? Minus 1.
• Blair doesn’t need to ask Dan Humphrey what he’s doing at Veselka — he introduced it to her. But wouldn’t she ask Serena why she was so far downtown? Or at least worry that she’s back on the drugs? Minus 1.
• Serena assigns her young, hot cousin to flirt with the ex that she’s clearly still interested in. Because that’s always a good idea. Minus 3.
• Like Raina Thorpe would have all her legal documents, like her birth certificate, in a shoebox. She probably wouldn’t even know where that stuff existed. Minus 3.
• Dan was at Veselka and then he’s randomly walking on 16th between Broadway and Fifth? Saying he’s near NYU? That makes no sense. Minus 1.
• Lily got snubbed for Blaine Trump? That doesn’t smell right — it certainly wouldn’t have happened to Martha. Minus only 1. But Minus 5 for the fact that they couldn’t call first, but instead sent Anne Archibald to nastily steal away the food.
• How was Charlie “following” Dan by walking toward him in the direction he was walking? Minus 2.
• Why would Blair tell Dan to meet her at Paul Smith? Would Dan even know where/what Paul Smith is? Minus only 1, because costume designer Eric Daman has been dressing him in PS style, but in the world of the show it seems as though it’d be a stretch for Lonelyboy. (Oh, and Minus another 1 because there’s no Paul Smith on Madison Avenue.)
• Have you ever noticed that the curtains are always drawn in the spectacular Bass/van der Woodsen apartment? Having been on the Gossip Girl set, Intel Chris and Jessica know this is because the exteriors are just lit-up fake backdrops of skyscrapers, so we won’t deduct any points. But it’s too bad they don’t shoot in the Palace anymore, with that spectacular real view of midtown.
• Rufus really didn’t seem to know that CBGB is a John Varvatos now. Minus 1.
• They keep referring to “The Trumps.” But Blaine Trump was only married to Robert Trump, and now they are famously divorced. They had no children, so there are no plural “Trumps” on Blaine’s wing of the family anymore. Minus 5.
• That picture Charlie took of Blair and Dan was from less than ten feet away. Surely they would have noticed her? Minus 2, because Dan has already mentally decided to sleep with her, so he should at least be able to recognize her.
• If you watch the opening sequence of the Pink Party, there is an older woman standing like a crazy person pretending to talk to someone who doesn’t exist, right behind Lily. No points deducted, because this is maybe what you’d do if you were at the home of a confined convict.
• We never saw any evidence that Lily froze out Anne when it came to the Captain. In fact, Anne ditched the Captain a second time so people would continue to be nice to her at parties. Minus only 3, because really, with all this blonde witchery, who can keep track?
• If Avery Thorpe really was killed in that fire, they’d better have a good explanation for how the hell they were able to keep that a secret. Minus 5

Total:70.

Wow, a rare wash! But that's because several of the show's plotlines are living on borrowed time: the mysterious (non) death of Avery Thorpe. The even more mysterious normalcy of Louis the prince of Nowheristan (a.k.a. Monaco). Once these plots unwind, we expect the show to dip into deeply absurd territory again. Until then, put your own tallies in the comments and we'll recap them all on Friday!