If “Crazy, Cupid, Love” was supposed to be a Valentine’s Day gift from Gossip Girl, I’d like to exchange it for a pound of Godiva chocolate, a dozen blood-red roses and a roll of duct tape that I can use to bind up Dan’s hands and mouth so he will keep them off of Blair!

Come to think of it, maybe I’ll do the same to Blair herself until she can conduct herself like a woman who is supposedly in love with Chuck Bass. Just because Dan kisses you doesn’t meant that you have to kiss back. It’s perfectly okay to shove him in the chest and tell him to go play with his typewriter. Because not only did Blair put her marriage and her true love at risk, she also lost her best friend, Serena. Again.

Thanks for all the warm and fuzzy Valentine’s Day memories, Georgina! And congratulations on being even more destructive than Gossip Girl herself. At least she never orchestrated the chaos; she just reported it. At the very least, Georgina is a hell of a lot sloppier than GG. Dan has already figured out what’s up, and it’s just a matter of time until everyone else catches on.

I would say that the real victim of the evening was Chuck, at least up until he decided to seduce Dan’s publicist to get back at both him and Blair for the kiss Georgina was kind enough to record just for him, but I think the award for Most Betrayed Character of the Night goes to Charlie Rhodes. The real Charlie Rhodes, aka Lola.

When Ivy/Charlie came back into town to tell Lily about someone dying in a hospice (it’s got to be either her faux mommy or her faux grandmommy), she got roped into attending the Spectator’s party at Chuck’s penthouse, where she ran into Lola/Charlie. Oh dear…especially since Lola/Charlie knows her as Ivy, an actress from Florida. Thanks to Nate’s exposition, Lola/Charlie found out that her mother has been masquerading someone through NY under her name, while she’s struggling to make ends meet by catering. Yet, rather than blow Ivy/Charlie’s cover, she decides to internet stalk her, proving that Lola/Charlie will fit in just fine with her mother’s people.

Coming in at a close second in the betrayal department was, of course, Serena, who got to witness Blair and Dan’s disgusting kiss with her own eyes, thanks to Georgina. Blair lost a valuable asset because of her inability to utter a simple, two-letter word. Now the only person she has on her side as she tries to navigate a loveless marriage, two lovelorn suitors and a royal babysitter who is clearly in love with her husband is her loyal housemaid. Good luck with that, B, especially when you find out it really was Dan who leaked the video of your confession to Chuck. You know, the one that ruined your life for the next year?

Bet you won’t have a problem pushing him away then…

What did you think of the episode? Let me know below!